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I guess they expected him to cannibalise his victims or something.Pop was in the hospital, undergoing exploratory surgery, but Mom insisted that she be allowed to accompany me to the screen test. I was so stunned by her callousness that I didn't tell her to go fuck herself, like I should've. All the way down on the plane I had to listen to her detailed instructions on the proper carriage, smile, and table manners of a successful model... things she knew absolutely nothing about. When I put on the stereo earphones to block her harping, nagging chatter, she assaulted every passenger in earshot, telling them about me, about how wonderful I was, about my big break in commercials. If her safety belt had been six inches longer, I would've strangled her with it.Wally Baxter and Lenore were waiting for us at L.A. International. They totally ignored my Mom and rushed up to me giving me big sexy hugs. Wally had lost some hair. He had deep widow's peaks but I kind of liked them. He was super. .. do something.”“What?”“I don’t know ... something.”The nanny/wet nurse stepped into the room and slapped the shit outta me.“OW!”Once more with feeling...“OW!” Rubbing my wet and inflamed cheeks, I said, “What did you do that for?”Jim and Jenny both said, “Well, that was something. It worked.”Jim said, “Good job. What’s your name?”“Because I was born under a sycamore tree, the People call me Myndee.”“Ah,” said Jenny, “Acer pseudoplatanus. Invasive species. Imported from England but not native to the Isles. Ancestry is central Asia. First discovered in England in 1500. Brought as seed to Sydney, Australia by an unknown convict in 1789. Thrives in wetlands.” She looked up. “Sorry, hobby of mine.”“Invasive species?” Myndee said. “I’m tagged after a Foreign Tree?”“Looks like,” Jenny said.I was still rubbing my sore jaw ... I might even be nursing a grudge. “Son of a gun, you struck a mighty blow...” or something along that line. I was fairly frazzled. The past month had been difficult,.
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